Pretty Flower or Evil Menace?

Every spring as we welcome the longer days and the warmer temperatures, we also welcome all things that grow.  The vast majority of this is a good thing.  That first crocus that pops from the ground, and then the daffodils and tulips… ooo so pretty!  We excitedly bend down to sniff the hyacinth and point out each perfect little flower.  Lilacs are blooming every where and adding a wonderful fragrance to the air.  But alas, amongst all the beauty, there is this one seemingly innocent creature...

Oh sure, it introduces itself as a pretty little yellow flower but beneath those little yellow petals lurks evil.  Ladies and gentlemen, I speak of the dandelion.  And oh what a lion it is.  You see, this little lion does not come alone, nor is it particularly dandy. 

No, dandelion are like deer; where there is one, there are usually more…

And so, if one would prefer to have  a lawn that is just grass, without these menacing little buds, one must find a way to slay the lion.   There’s an app for that!  No wait, that was a previous post.  There’s no app for this.  There is, however, a tool!! 

The wonderful folks at Fiskars (yep, same as the scissors) have made a handy, perhaps one might even say ‘dandy’, tool to slay the lion, or at least, look good trying.  Allow me to share the product description from Fiskar’s own website:  

There's bad blood between you and those weeds. Get the upper-hand in the battle for the perfect lawn, with the UpRoot® Weed and Root Remover. There's no messing around with this tool. Extra-long, razor sharp stainless claws deeply penetrate the soil to grab these delinquent growths at the root. Hard to fathom, but it almost makes removing dandelions fun. A few passes and you'll be an old pro. The weed ejection feature is effective and satisfying. Bright orange markings make it easy to find in the grass if you set it down for a victory dance.

Now, allow me to air a grievance.  Notice the photo above.  Notice how there is ONE, just ONE dandelion plant on that lawn.  And ooooo goody, they got it!  All is safe again on the lawn and one can simply sit back and enjoy the rest of the summer.  HA! 

We own the tool you see above.  I use it.  Daily.  There are little holes all over the lawn.   There are buckets and bags full of pulled dandelions.  By the sheer volume of what has been pulled from the ground, and the huge block of time that I have spent using the tool, one would think, at this point, I’d be doing a victory dance.  One would be wrong.  

Why?  Because you never really and truly know how many dandelions have invaded your lawn until the day comes that you decide to remove them.  One at a time.  With a tool.

We live on a corner property.  There are no fewer than 5 homes that have windows directly facing our yard.   Much the same way we notice the neighbor who washes his already clean car seemingly 2-3 times per week, I am now convinced that each time I am in the yard, pulling dandelions, there is a neighbor saying to his spouse… “hey honey, you gotta come see this… she’s doing it again!”  And then they bust into fits of laughter, pointing and saying… “crazy american”.  

And yet, for unknown reasons, there is some part of me that cannot stop trying to slay the lions.  Their yellowness taunts me, day in and day out… “come on, just try to get us all!”  I think some small part of me must be convinced that if I pull just the right one, the rest will cower in fear and leave for good. 

Must… pull… one… more…