Now that I'm one breast short of a whole oven stuffer roaster, I felt it was time to give you some random observations of my new world.
Goose bumps - or lack there of
Given that the process of removing a lymph node also entailed cutting some nerves, I have just discovered that there is a part of my right arm that lacks goose bumps. I was cold and about to jump into the shower and as I rubbed my arms in a feeble attempt at warmth, there it was - a goose bump free area. Weird, eh?
Free pre-stuffed bras
One of my benefits of surgery was a free bra. This thing is like putting on some old-fashioned corset - there are 7, yes 7, hooks up the front of the bra. I would love to know who exactly determined that 7 would be the magic number. I can tell you that getting all 7 hooked is a bit of a challenge... hook the first few and by the time you get to the rest, a few previously hooked have slipped free. It's a test of will!
One half of the bra is currently stuffed with cotton so that I don't look all lopsided when I venture out in public. This means that after I finally do manage to get all those hooks hooked, I then get to "reshape" my cotton side - it tends to get a little lumpy at times. Eventually I will get something better to fill the bra, but I have to wait until my incisions are healed before I can go for my first official boob fitting.
I have learned more about filler boobs then I ever thought possible, but we'll save that for a later time! Okay, okay, I'll give you one preview - did you know they make one just for swimming? You can wear the normal one to swim but if you swim regularly (like several times per week), they recommend that you get the special swimmer's boob. Apparently it all has to do with the manner in which water flows through your suit as you're swimming. Who thinks of these things?
As in a Secret of the deodorant variety. At the present time, due to the physical inability to get in there, I am unable to apply deodorant to my right side. So, just as a cautionary warning to you.. if you're standing near me, you may wish to stand on my left.
And about that - apparently I should wear aluminum-free deodorant in the future. Given the lack of deodorant selection in this country, finding such a thing could be quite a challenge. What is it exactly with the lack of solid sticks in this market? Do Danish women actually prefer the cold goop of a roll-on or the frozen blast of a spray? Or is there something in the sticks that isn't permitted by the government here? This is one of those 'weird' things expats are left to wonder about. Oh well, the deodorant I use now all came from the states, so I guess I'll just have to purchase a different kind on the next trip!
With a cherry on top
3 days ago